Struck down suddenly by prostate cancer on May 9, Jim Weller's final wishes had nothing to do with “stuffy little funeral parlors.”
“We discussed this many, many times,” said Darlene Weller. “He preferred a celebration of life, with family and friends, to say good-bye.”
So Jim's friends and family joined together Saturday at the Kiwanis Pavilion in River Park to celebrate his life in the same spot he and Darlene were married 15 years ago.
Jim Weller knew how to get the most out of life. “He loved life, he was always happy, always wanted to go out and do something,” Darlene said.
Though the day was not nearly as sunny and warm as his wedding day, the crowd of friends and family was just as large, she said.
Tables in the pavilion were filled, causing others to find spots on the grass or to stand in small clusters around the edges.
At their wedding, Harley motorcycles lined up to form an aisle. Saturday, a long row of motorcycles rested near the tree under which Jim and Darlene said their vows.
“We'd both been through the big wedding garbage, so we wanted a barbecue, cake and beer,” Darlene said of the couple's wedding. “We wanted something simple, easy and fun.”
Jim wished to be cremated, and Darlene complied, finding an urn she said best fit the man. “I got him a Harley gas tank,” she said.
Beneath the tree stood a table with the couple's 1993 wedding announcement, a photo, a motorcycle helmet and gloves, a guest book and the small Harley gas tank with blue flames painted on the sides sitting atop a wooden base that bore Jim's name.
“Jim got his first motorcycle in 1979 or '80,” said Rick Kepler, Jim's roommate in the early '80s.
Jim and Darlene shared an interest in motorcycles, as evidenced not only by their wedding ceremony, and in the photo montage posters that lined the back “wall” of the pavilion.
A plastic wall had been created to block the wind and taped to it were three large posterboard with photos of Jim and his friends and family.
Reminiscing over the photos, Darlene acknowledged by a choked up nod that though the party was just what Jim wanted and what she herself would want, it was hard to be there again without him.
“Jim was just a nice guy,” said long-time friend Ray Leslie. “This is what he would want rather than everyone feeling sorry.”
A video of photos, movies and written tributes to Jim played on a TV at the front of the pavilion. Photo albums chronicling Jim's zest for life - pictures of parties, road trips and a tandem parachute jump - lay on tables for friends to look through.
Lynn David, who worked for 15 years with Jim at the city's wastewater facility, told the story of how every day Darlene would bring Jim a hot lunch: “That's the kind of dedicated family they are,” David said.
Jim went in to the doctor in March to check out what he thought was a sore back and groin pull.
On April 9 the doctor told him the truth, stage IV prostate cancer had spread up his spine and through his body.
“It was as bad as it could be,” Darlene said.
Her own father had managed to fight off the same type of cancer, but he had been diagnosed much earlier in the disease's progression.
“It shocked everyone. He
wasn't even showing signs of illness,” said friend Tina Cox. “He just did not feel pain.”
Jim Weller was given just over six months to live even with chemotherapy.
Shortly after his first chemotherapy treatment however, Jim began complaining of chest pain. Pneumonia had taken advantage of his weakened state.
“We were hoping we'd have a little longer,” Darlene said. “But he hung in there long enough for our daughter to get here from Vegas before he left.”
In between hugs from Jim's many motorcycle cohorts and other friends, Darlene said that the barbecue party was just what Jim wanted.
“We like parties and fun and for people to celebrate,” she said. “We don't want sorrow - life was fun.”
Glenn Wallace can be reached at 737-1059 or
gwallace@santamariatimes.com. Amanda Brooks can be reached at
737-1057 or
abrooks@santamariatimes.com.
June 1, 2008