Last year, my spring training trip to Arizona involved Irvin, Brad and Brad's friend. This year, it was Brad, Irvin and Irvin's friend. Next year, it will be Brad and Irvin - no friends - and separately.

It's not so much our friends were bad and cramped our style, rather, if we expose our friends to my family in Arizona, we might not have anymore friends left.

I love my family and as long as my brother lives in the Phoenix area - Mesa this year - and we get free room and board, I will continue to love my family.

But more about the family later. It's time to talk about the exciting four days in Arizona with Irvin and his friend Larry The Lip.

We started calling him Larry the Lip for one reason, but as the weekend went on the meaning of his nickname changed. I don't think his lip stopped moving the entire weekend. He even talks in his sleep.

Friday

Reunions on a plane, then things go to the dogs Š

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The flight from Santa Maria to Mesa on Friday included several old friends and acquaintances.

The parents of Jimmy Dodos from Righetti and Josh Meagher of St. Joseph were on the way to watch the boys, both playing for Chico State, take on Grand Canyon College. Former St. Joe player Brian Gingras was driving to Phoenix to meet his parents who were also on the plane as was another former Knight Chris Hageman, his lovely wife and cute chubby baby.

Judge Tim Staffel and his “posse” were going to see, most likely, the Giants and Angels. City Manager Tim Ness was going too. (Hey, who's watching Lavagnino?).

In fact, Larry's son Steve was in line for the plane but left a friend standing there all alone. I think Steve realized he was going to have to sit next to Irvin and decided not to go.

After I was practically stripped searched because of my suspenders, we were off to Mesa.

Our first night in town we decided to try our luck at the greyhound races, held at the Phoenix Greyhound Park. I figured, why not? When I go to the horse races, I usually pick the dogs.

Guess what, I picked the dogs at the dog races too. I don't even think half my picks even finished.

If it wasn't for Larry the Lip's expertise, I would have lost all my money. Free admission and free parking too. I must say my $60 hot dog was pretty good.

Saturday

Central Coast boy does well, Coyotes don't Š

After a lovely breakfast at the “Big Apple” in Mesa, it was off to Surprise, east of Phoenix for the Rockies and Rangers.

Great seats 10 rows up looking down the first base line. Billy Parker Field is where the Rangers and the Royals share a stadium.

It is a beautiful complex right past Sun City.

The designated hitter for the Rangers was none other than Jason Botts of Paso Robles High. Botts was 2-for-3, scored the first run of the game, scored later and was robbed of a sure double by a great diving play by Colorado's Scott Podsednik.

Rangers win 10-5.

We got lost several times trying to find a shortcut to get out of Surprise. Believe me there is only one road out of Surprise. Never before had the Hertz Rental Neverlost system - we'll call her Mildred - told me to “please make a U-turn.”

After telling me that several times, Mildred's mood changed.

“Turn around you idiot,” she said.

Finally into Glendale for the Coyotes vs. Edmonton Oilers hockey game, which included a sold out crowd and free green Coyotes caps in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. A big game - playoff implications. The only tickets we could get were sky-high at the end of the rink. Irvin, Larry and Greg looked like salmon crammed into a sardine can sitting in their seats. The plane seats were roomier.

Luckily, I used my boyish charm on a lovely usher and she let me sit in the top row in the only seat that the arm rest came up.

The Coyotes looked so good when we saw them beat the Kings at Staples Center a few weeks back, so I was looking for a great game.

Wrong. The Coyotes actually turned into the Kings right before my eyes. You know, my favorite team who just happen to be in LAST PLACE!

Sunday

Greg cooks - Cubs Win! - A real headache Š

Sunday started out nice enough. Greg and his fantastic wife Jean prepared us a nice breakfast with tons of bacon, eggs and hash browns. Outstanding - and reasonably priced.

We leave early for the Cubs game, because Larry wants to catch some batting practice home runs for souviners.

We wait almost 90 minutes for our tickets to arrive. Finally into our seats 20 minutes before the first pitch.

As we sit in the third row of our section, a mean looking woman arrives and rudely tells two guys sitting in front of us that she has the four aisle seats.

“How about excuse me, could you move over please, you are in my seat,” I thought.

Her husband sits behind her with a glove on his hand. Here comes a foul ball - he misses it as it glances off the webbing. The women actually grabbed the glove away.

A couple innings later a hard foul that hits the awning behind us, picks up steam and nails the mean lady in the forehead.

She held the glove over her head for a few moments, then with an embarrassed smile pulled the glove away.

A collective groan built as everyone saw a huge welt on her forehead. If you cut a baseball in half and glued it to her head, that was the size of the bruise.

You could see the marks of the stitching and I swear I saw Bud Selig's signature imbedded in her head.

The husband took the glove back.

Cubs won 5-2, over a split squad of Angels. I only heard of one announced starter for the Halos, Garrett Anderson, and he was scratched before the game began.

Sunday Night

Meet the family Š

My brother has two daughters and a son who live in Arizona and Jean has three daughters. They were all there waiting to see their favorite uncle, except Shannon, who was probably mad that I took her room for the weekend.

Let's see if I can remember them all: Melissa and her husband Jeff, with their two foster children - Josh and Jasmine. Then there is Travis, Val, Sandy and Jesse. Val just got married, but her husband remembered me from last year and didn't come over. Jesse has a brand new baby named Dylan, Steve is the DJ daddy and Sandy is married to Steven.

Larry was so excited to meet my family, he took the car keys and left. Irvin was really mad that Larry left him behind.

Travis, Irvin and I did catch up with Larry at a place called the Native New Yorker, founded by a guy from New Jersey, for hot wings and a beverage. Sorry, I don't think I'm able to say we had several beers.

Monday

Homeward bound Š

On the way to the airport, we got lost looking for a place to buy a souvenir for Irvin's wife June. Mildred yelled at me several more times.

We finally made it to the airport. So did all the people from Friday's flight. The same people, but not the same enthusiasm. Everyone looked beat.

This time I took off the suspenders - no strip search.

Sat next to Irvin on the flight back. Salmon in a sardine can part two.

Finally made it home.

We had a wonderful time. If you do not take advantage of the direct flight to the Phoenix area, especially when the Dodgers get there next year, you are crazy.

But sorry, you can not stay at my brother's house. After Larry the Lip, I don't think Irv and I can stay at my brother's house either.

Brad Memberto is a sports writer for the Lompoc Record. He can be reached at (805) 737-1055 or at bmemberto@lompocrecord.com.

March 24, 2008