I counted myself a fan of all things “Beverly Hills 90210” until one of its stars verbally skewered my hometown of Nipomo on national television.

After Tori Spelling's remarks, I was ready to deface the T-shirt bearing her image that I had excitedly opened on Christmas. I changed my mind, however, after realizing Spelling might have done Nipomo a huge favor and, in the process, solved its growth issues.

The premise of Spelling's new reality show, “Inn Love,” goes like this: Star meets and marries man of dreams, Dean McDermott; finds herself unexpectedly pregnant and left virtually out of her father's will; then sets forth with a measly $800,000 to transform a bed-and-breakfast inn into a hip destination spot.

The couple's search for the perfect bed-and-breakfast leads them to Idyllwild - no McDonald's, gasp! - Ojai - outdated inns - and, then, Nipomo.

Upon arriving in Olde Towne en route to the Kaleidoscope Inn & Gardens, the pair's dialogue continues:

McDermott: “I don't know anything about Nipomo, but I know the prices are good.”

McDermott: “This can't be it.”

Advertisement

Spelling: “This is Nipomo right here? Crap. This is a haggard-looking town.”

McDermott: “I don't like this.”

Spelling: “This is terrible.”

McDermott: “Who the (expletive) would want to come stay out here?”

Spelling: “Nobody. I wouldn't even put a high-end trailer park in the neighborhood.”

Although they admit the Kaleidoscope Inn looks “cute,” they can't fathom anyone would ever visit.

“No, no to Nipomo!” they both proclaim as McDermott flips a U-turn out of Olde Towne, bypassing even the renowned Jocko's on their way back to Hollywood.

The couple could have looked past a few older streets to see an evolving town, full of potential, or contemplated why Los Angeleans are flocking to the community. But that would have involved too much brain power.

Granted, producers may have taken the challenged pair through the backside of Nipomo to elicit their made-for-TV responses, but whatever the case, Spelling and McDermott didn't choose Nipomo and we can all be glad.

Trust me.

Dealing with the ditzy starlet and her fan following would have been miserable.

Temecula - where Spelling finds her dream inn - can have the pair.

Besides, if Spelling had raved about Nipomo, she would have inevitably attracted the curious and, of course, they would have fallen in love with the rural community, sold their homes elsewhere and moved in.

As locals well know, an influx of buyers means more traffic and less water - two major worries that have actually driven residents to adopt the philosophy: “I'm here. Now you can close the gate!”

Publicly lobbying for a proverbial closing of that gate, though, makes locals sound both silly and selfish. Instead, Nipomoans stoically endure another wave of Woodlands folk while secretly wishing they would have stayed in their Southern California retirement homes.

Spelling stalled that growth, though, when she dissed Nipomo and dissuaded would-be residents. She made Nipomo look entirely unattractive, relieving us of the worry that Tefft Street will one day crack under the pressure as the groundwater basin dries up.

She did our dirty work, for which reason I am not only saving my 90210 T-shirt, but embroidering it with Spelling and her husband's own problem-solving phrase, “No, no to Nipomo!”

Emily Slater can be reached at 489-4206, Ext 5012, or eslater@santamariatimes.com.

April 8, 2007